Hairdresser: do you like it?
Me: yes thank you
*goes home and cries*
having a million dollars would improve my life by 100%
"this pizza is gonna go straight to my butt" i say as i grab the pizza and slap it against my butt
all miley cyrus does is shop, buy starbucks and walk her multiple dogs.
I think my parents consider me to be a god. Because they always ask me ridiculous questions that I don’t have the answer to.